Her name is Ellarie
Met her about two years ago.
Scratch that, I was given the privalege to meet Ellarie two years ago.
Where to even begin. It is 3:44 A.M. right now as I start.
Ellarie, at first she was just some girl to me. Of course with a beautiful face that holds the brightest smile. I didn’t really care much about her until we talked on the phone.
I still remember those late night phone calls. Hahahahaha, that girl, damn. We would talk on the phone for three hours a lot of the nights, and on those nights, neither of us would want to hang up so we would leave our phones on and fall asleep. I don’t know about her, but doing that always made it seem like she was beside me.
But that first night she slept over, momma told me to sleep on the couch. I waited til momma went to bed and crept into my room. I remember laying in my room wrapping that girl in my arms, thinking, FUCK, i can’t fall for this girl.
Let me tell you something about Ellarie, though. This ain’t your ordinary girl. She is the perfect girl for me. Laughs at the same weird shit I do, has my sailor’s vocabulary, we make the ugliest faces at each other, not that kinda cute ugly, Im talking absolutely gut wrenching, yet we still laugh at each other then end up staring at each other. Dagum, you wanna talk about looking deeply into someone’s eyes, my girlfriend, she’s got the prettiest eyes that I could look at in to all day. Then I start getting insecure because she’s too pretty to be with me, yet she still is.
She has been through a lot, I have been through a lot, we both met at a strange time in our lives. Right when we were both so mentally broken, I think that’s why we clicked. It’s like she can read me like a book. That girl knows me better than a few of my closest friends. No fuck that, before we even started hitting things off, that girl was my closest friend. I could talk to her about anything. So fucking close that I was terrified of being her boyfriend because I didnt wanna ruin our friendship.
On December 2012, after a few times asking her to be my girlfriend but not following through, I finally committed. I just said, fuck it.
At first I was like, this is gonna end bad, I don’t even know if I like her. But a couple months down, I realized, I’ve fallen for this girl a long time before I asked her to be my girlfriend.
You know what though, I’m glad I asked her to be my girlfriend. No other girl, i repeat, NO OTHER girl has held me together and put up with my bullshit like her. You wanna talk about a strong hearted, strong minded girl, Ellarie always stayed by my side EVEN when I was talking to a whole lot of other girls before we even started our relationship. She’s a fighter, I’ll tell you what. That’s what I’m probably most thankful for. I am thankful for EVERYTHING she does for me. Her patience especially and her trust.
we do everything together. bass fish. go to the lake. eat out. get high. drive around town. she makes me feel alive instead of caged up like I was in my first relationship.
the thought of her sends this tingling feeling through my chest and into my throat. she is my definition of perfect, even her flaws are perfect to me. yeah her and i have our fights, some worse than others, but at the end of EACH day I go to bed thinking about her and looking forward to waking up to THE best good morning messages. THE BEST, MOST THOUGHTFUL MESSAGES. which is another thing I am appreciative about.
Lately though, we’ve been fighting over some stupid shit. My ass for the first time snapped from be so protective. I blew it way out of proportion. The fear of losing her was killing me but as I’m writing this message, I’m slowly realizing she ain’t going nowhere.
I fucked up. I yelled at her, said things I would never thought I’d say and I deeply regret it. Stole her away from her friends. She explained a lot to me, talked to me instead of letting me go, she fought for me even when I was wrong.
Like wow, now that I think about it, holy fuck, how could I try to leave someone so perfect. holy fuck im glad she kept fighting for me. holy fuck im glad no matter how mad I got, she stayed calm.
To be honest, the only reason I freaked out like that was because I didnt want to lose her. I can’t lose her. I’m so scared she’s gonna find some other guy. I can play and act as tough as I want, but when it comes down to her, I’m soft. I’m so soft. punch me in the face, kick me in the ribs, i won’t utter a sound. But if she ever walked away, you bet damn well I’ll be in my room BAWLING my eyes out. Yeah I’ll say it, I’ll cry if my girlfriend left me.
My girlfriend and I really do go together like peas and carrots.
She’s my sun and I’m her moon. I will give an arm for her. I will take a bullet for her. If some guy laid a finger on her, you already know I’ll be over him knocking his teeth down his throat.
But the main reason I wanted to write all this is because, well, like i mentioned earlier, i talked to a lot of girls when ellarie and i had a “thing”. I wrote this huge message about some girl who I thought I liked a lot. Fuck that. Because that girl is NOTHING compared to Ellarie. She would have not made me as happy as Ellarie still does to this very day.
Her fucking smile though, that smile has saved me in so many ways.
I would get into the intimate parts but I respect her and her privacy so I will not disclose such information. But I will tell you this, she knows how to make me pitch a tent real fast. ;)
Last but not least I wanna say this last thing.
I am in love with Ellarie and will do anything to make our relationship last as long as possible.
She’s my sweet girl. And no one knows how good it feels to call her mine.